Guerilla Marketing: An 8 Year-Old Had It Down

When my son was 8, he started a doggy day care so he could afford more Pokemon cards, because 300 cards weren’t enough. Everyone is of the mind that the Japanese are smarter than the rest of us, and based on Pokemon cards and the income generated therefrom alone, I’m inclined to agree. Those cards even outdid the Pet Rock in fiscal terms.

I found his poster the other day and based on hindsight, found much to admire about my son’s marketing skills.

He’s straight up with the price of his services, opening his ad copy with $3.00. He then lets us know for what he is charging this money, which is “taking care of your dog.” What this care entails is open to question. You had to contact him to find out. Maybe he was going to put that sucker down for you in a discreet way and blackmail you $3.00 a day to keep quiet about it.

Think of it: “Every day” means every day, Clueless Consumer. That’s what is so fun about blackmail. Compounded quarterly, a daily payment of $3.00 would have added up to a tidy sum now that he’s 28. Get an attorney next time you hire an 8 year-old.

After all, why wouldn’t you get rid of a permanent house guest who can’t use the toilet, always wants what you’re eating, stares at you unblinkingly if you don’t hand it over, barks at every scooter and pedestrian, and sticks a cold…