If The Government Is Shut Down, Can I Still Get Coffee?
Because let’s face it, the lack of such is the only reason I’d even notice it was shut down.
That, and nothing on TV. I mean, literally. Nothing. My attention would be caught.
A week or so ago, I came home from a pool workout and my son mentioned something to me about the ‘government shutdown’. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized there was one. The pool was open, the library was open, the 7–11 was open, our house was open, so why would I notice a lack of government employees running around?
Close something important, like Facebook, and people will sit up and take notice.
I no longer use banks, or the post office, nor do I go every day to a National Park, so I am often unaware that our government is in operation on any given day. In fact, I need the government so little, I’m wondering if we can just close it down entirely and send the savings to me. They’re always talking about government waste and over spending. Here I am, offering a solution.
I’ll even trade them my Social Security check for their government payroll.
Just so’s I can sound like I know a little bit about a little bit, I looked up ‘government shutdown’ and found the definition below:
“A government shutdown is the closure of nonessential offices of the government due to lack of approval on the federal budget for the upcoming fiscal year. Approval is reached if Congress passes all of the spending bills regarding the federal budget. If an agreement is not achieved, a government shutdown will close many federally run operations, and halt work for federal employees unless they are considered essential. Some organizations still stay open by running on cash reserves, but once these run out, if a solution is not found, they will also close. The shutdown stays in effect until a compromise is reached and a budget bill is passed.”
(I used to live life like this and still do now and then, going by the rule, ‘Stay open by running on cash reserves, but once these run out you WILL lose your electricity. This shutdown stays in effect until you pay your utility bill.’)
Not only that, but this article is telling us there are non-essential federal employees!
They come right out and admit it. If they’re non-essential, why are we still paying them? Why do they still have jobs? What does a non-essential federal employee do? Sit around and keep an eye on the missile silos during big people naps? Sweep the driveways and rake the lawns of the federal buildings?
And why do they object to an unforeseen vacation without pay? I did that a few times. Our union went out on strike, or the company I worked for went out of business. I didn’t see anyone from DC talking about it or telling the media.
Besides which, the gubbmint closed from midnight Friday, to sometime Monday. Oooh. Just enough time to tie one on and get over it in time for work. And the non-essentials get to tell their grandkids about it:
“Let me tell you about the shut down of ’18, son. Yore Grandpa got to see strippers!”
Further:
“Any office that does not receive funding from Congress would continue functioning. For example the Federal Reserve would continue operating, and the Post Office, being owned but not operated by the federal government, would also continue to run. Essential employees that typically continue working might include security, such as police and firefighters, and intelligence agencies. Active military, prison guards, border patrol agents, and air traffic controllers also remain on the job in the event of a shutdown.”
Why does the Federal Reserve keep operating? Is this because they had fingers in the till all year and therefore have ‘cash reserves’? Sounds fishy to me.
It sure is nice to know police and firefighters stay on the job. And the CIA! Whew, right? Or the NSA. What would we do without them?
Let them take a day. We have Alexa now to listen in on us.
“Alexa, we’re planning a coup during the government shut down. Please set the timer for the thing — you know — the ‘thing’, at 8am, and the alarm for 6. Don’t forget to order more baking soda and vinegar. And eggs.”
Do a search of federal agencies sometime. Never mind, I’ll post it right here:
This page is longer than your leg. The government creates an agency which spawns another agency, and before you know it, we’re paying thousands of non-essential federal employees.
I’ve been in training to be non-essential my whole life. I got this.
