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How the Rastafari Helped the Puritans Get Mellow at the First Thanksgiving
And then they all ate a lot.
A friend let it slip in my hearing that she wished the Rastafari had settled America, instead of those swingin’ Puritans, so that America would be a more mellow nation today.
I sympathized with the sentiment; the early settlers of Nevada, the Bugsyians, didn’t even allow the lottery, which led to very strict laws.
This state would be much better off if it allowed people to have more fun, maybe even gamble a little.
The Puritans arrived in America a long time ago, sometime before the first Fourth of July weekend. The minute the first one set foot on that windswept spot on the rocky shores of New England — near a flashing sign saying Chevy Rock Car Sales — they were surrounded by Rastafari car salesmen trying to sell them a Plymouth and a doobie.
That sign is an important American landmark; it guided our Puritans through fog and rain and the confusion caused by vintage GPS (Guiding Puritans at Sea) units.